wow
well first blog is always a pain so bear with me. A good friend of mine wrote a couple blogs today and inspired me to write one. I personally think that she has some of the most amazing thoughts although at times they seem a bit cynical. Have you wanted to tell someone something but the response you think they want to hear comes out before you even realize it? That subconsious inkling in your mind that tells you to say this and say that, to make them happy it doesnt matter what you really think? I hate it when people tell me what I want to hear instead of the truth, although I am guilty of doing that. I'm a hypocrite to the hugest, hating things that I personally do. I hate people who follow the crowd and wont let their true person shine out, but I used to do that. Before i "discovered" confidence I was the biggest follower in the crowd, never really telling my opinion, always quiet and in the background but in the process of following someone else, I found...me. I never really knew who I was until I moved because I had always molded myself to what I thought people wanted. I didnt know what unique was, I thought everyone was like this and this was all that life was. But then, oh but then I met Brook. My best friend. And then I met Tammy.These two have showed that they'll love me for me. I know. Thats so cliche and unoriginal.
But cliche's are the best, because they embody the ideals that everyone beleives in. That truelove exists. That everyone had good in them. That God exists. That maybe, just maybe we'll find that one person who makes everything all right. No matter how much people deny it, everyone has that secret wish inside them, to meet that special person. Because everyone wants to be loved, there is no one, even the rapists and the murderers and the child abusers, they wont say "Oh, i dont want to be loved. I'm fine how I am." Anyone who says that is a flat out liar and they know it. Because who doesnt want true love? Who doesnt want that person who you know isnt just there for sex. Who isnt afraid to say, "Hell yeah, I love to cuddle." Who will hug you at night when you're sleeping and whisper I love you. That one person that you're looking for and you dont even know it, that one person that really does complete you. I know I sound immature, but I do beleive in true love and I beleive that it can bridge race and time and distance. (although long distance hasnt worked out for me) I mean, I dont expect for it to be perfect, I don't expect not to fight, hell I love to fight, but I know that when I crawl into bed at night and the last thing I think about is that person and when I wake up he's the first person I think about, then I'll know I'm in love. And I cant wait for that.
You know whats weird about blogs? You bare part of your heart to complete strangers, people who you'll probably never know will know a bit of you, will know your random thoughts. And weirdly, we're okay with that. And so I say to you, people who read this, I love you. Because you know a tiny part of my thinkings, a tiny part of my heart and maybe you'll accept that. Maybe you'll accept the immature part of my being, the part that still beleives in fairytales and true love, that wants the world to be perfect. Because if you know that part of me, you know the part that loves and cares and wants the world to be perfect so that my friends can sleep better at night. Help me to make this the place the world that Gpd wants.
Peace, Love, Music, Recycle.
